


Easy Reality

by ADyingFlower



Series: Hurt Noct Week [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Chronic Pain, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Mentions of Suicide, Overdosing, Painkillers, Permanent Injury, References to Depression, Seizures, Self-Esteem Issues, Snapshots, Therapy, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 07:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13853085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADyingFlower/pseuds/ADyingFlower
Summary: Day 2 - Chronic pain/injuryThe three times Noctis got hurt trying to hide his pain from his injured knee from others, and the one time he decided to trust in the people around him.Or:“Hey…Iggy?” His voice broke midway, and he cleared his throat quietly, waving away the cup Iggy offered him from his bedside table. “What’s chronic pain?”





	Easy Reality

9.

After months and months and _months_ of physical therapy, he was finally able to walk on his own, without the help of crutches or an old man’s cane.

Noctis tried to ignore the way his right leg acted just a tad slower than his left, the skid of his shoe against the floor just being a second too long.

What he couldn’t ignore was the pain.

It was supposed to go away, dammit! He was supposed to get better, and even if it took time it would eventually be behind him. Nope. Instead, his leg dragged behind him and Astrals, the _pain_.

He felt like it never went away. In bed when he couldn’t seem to get comfortable without waves of throbbing pain shot up his leg. Walks down to the dining room for shared meals with his dad made way for long breaks in between as he waited for the pain to die down just enough. Playing chase with Iggy was pushed aside for more subdue visits, and even at Iggy’s careful proddings he kept his mouth shut.

It was nothing he couldn’t handle, until he really couldn’t.

Noctis was pulled out of his public schooling after his injury, his teaching left to tutors and online lessons, wheelchair bound and slightly out of it as he was. But as he finally managed to stand on his own, his dad deemed him well enough to go back to the general public.

It was hell. There was no other way to put it.

There were no teachers coming to him, he had to walk to each class on his own with a bag full of school supplies. There were no secret alcoves for him to take a breather, no chance to catch his breath without being scolded for ‘skipping’.

And then there was gym class. It was only the first day, and he bit his lip as they anxiously lined up in front of their gruff gym teacher.

Astrals, he didn’t want to be here. His knee was in so much pain now that black dots hung around the edge of his vision every time he so much as moved it, never mind rest his weight on it.

Despite everything, or because of everything, he wanted his dad.

He’s not quite sure what happened next. All he remembered was the gym teacher calling them up to run a lap, the sickening wave of dread because if he could barely walk from class to class, how was he going to run for ten minutes?

Then there was nothing, and when he blinked his eyes open next, people with the Lucian sign of healing decorating their pockets lifted him up. One grabbed his leg, and maybe something like a scream bursted out of him, because they dropped his leg like a hot potato, and then -

Nothing.

White greeted his vision the next time he opened his eyes. The lights were dimmed down, but that did nothing to disguise the fact that it was a hospital room, if one he didn’t recognize from the Citadel.

He could distantly hear a commotion down the hall, it even sounded like his dad, but that wasn’t right, his dad and him haven’t spoken face to face in days, too busy with the newest budget review with the council.

But -

It was his dad, his back straight with some invisible weight on his shoulders as he pushed back some fussing nurse who claimed Noctis needed his rest. Some tension seemed to almost immediately melt of his dad’s face as he came to a stop at his bedside, reaching out a trembling hand for his own.

Noctis took it, no questions asked.

“Oh, my boy.” His dad brushed his hair back with his free hand, kissing his temple so gently that it brought tears to his eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

He wanted to shrug, but no, that wasn’t right. His voice was hoarse, but he managed the best he could with what he had. “You were busy, wasn’t bad.”

His dad scowled, flicking his hairline. “I’m never too busy for you, my son.”

And while it wasn’t true, countless missed dinners had proven that otherwise long ago, Noctis still closed his eyes and let his dad’s soft words words rush him back into sleep.

Iggy came by later that day, his uncle leaving his friend at the doorway with an uncertain pat on his shoulder. The needle was itchy in his arms, so he picked at it absently as he watched his best friend take a seat next to him at his bedside.

“Hello, Noct.” Iggy only ever called him Noct when Noctis was upset. He wasn’t upset though, if anything, he was just pretty sleepy. “I heard you passed out in gym class, that was quite reckless of you.”

Noctis didn’t look at him, listening instead to hustle and bustle outside the private room. Crownsguard and Kingsglaive alike were prepping to move him from the hospital back towards the Citadel, so it was a chaotic mess to ensure he wouldn’t be assassinated in the process. Even at his school, everyone had to be screened and he was pretty sure there was a plains clothed Crownsguard watching him regardless.

Something ran on repeat in his mind, the words his nurse had thoughtlessly told him when he asked why he needed the itchy needle.

“Hey…Iggy?” His voice broke midway, and he cleared his throat quietly, waving away the cup Iggy offered him from his bedside table. “What’s chronic pain?”

 

 

12.

He almost killed himself - by accident - when he was twelve.

It was a bad week, a bad month. Frequent rain storms made the ache in his bones even more prominent, the sting biting his lips that much worse. He was already only a few more absences from not being able to graduate, Prince or not, medical condition or not.

 _Astrals_ , public school sucked.

So he bared with it. Didn’t complain like how his therapist urged him to, too many words of ‘building stuff up’ and ‘internalizing everything’ which was way too much for him to comprehend then and certainly now.

It was just one night out of many when he couldn’t sleep under the unbearable burning pain. If he had to go one more sleepless night and then to a school that didn’t care at all if he was okay and just assumed he was, then he was going to scream.

His bathroom cabinet.

After the mess that was his first collapsing stint (the first, not the last), the doctors had prescribed him perfectly circular shaped pills in a orange capsule for him to take when ‘it’s really bad.’

His dad had taken one look at them before making Noctis promise not to take them without either Iggy or his dad with him, and he’s followed the rules to the letter until now. Only on the awful days did he call Iggy down, and rarely his dad, to have them shake two capsules into his palm and offer him a glass of water with surgical precision.

But - it’s late. Real late, as in the city that never sleeps has even dimmed down to barely a car here or there outside his window. He didn’t want to wake them for something silly like this.

If something happens, he can always call the Crownsguard posted at his door, he reasoned.

With that thought in mind, he shuffled painfully to his feet and limped towards his bathroom, one hand pressed against the wall to help his balance.

“C’mon, where are you.” He muttered under his breath and he searches through the cabinets, digging aside superhero decorated bandages he had when he was younger and all the boring first aid supplies his dad made him stock up in here. “Gotcha!”

Clasping the pill bottle to his chest, he struggled with the cap for a long moment before he realized Iggy hadn’t screwed it on all the way and he just had to pop it, like a soda cap.

Noctis was supposed to take two, but… it really hurt. It wouldn’t hurt to take one or two more, right?

Two became three became five. He used the sink water to drink swallow it down, and he stared at his sallow reflection for a long moment. His hair only seemed to highlight how pale his face was, eye bags purple moons and his eyebrows pinched in a permanent furrow.

Another jolt of pain snapped him out of his thoughts, and without another thought he emptied four more pills into his hands and swallowed it down dry.

Noctis wasn’t sure how long he waited until the pain died down enough for him to be comfortable enough to walk back, but on his way back to his bed to finally get some sleep, something in his chest seized.

His heart skipped a beat, two, and then _agony_.

Bile choked in this throat, desperate hands clinging to his chest as his heart started beating again, but wrong it was wrong it was too fast he could feel the walls shaking -

His back collided with his bureau, knocking several of his gaming figures and his ceremonial jewelry onto the floor with a loud clang.

One sharp rap of his Crownsguard knocking on his door. “Your Highness, is everything alright?”

Noctis wheezed in another breath, and saw more than felt his knees giving out. He was going to vomit he couldn’t breathe _he was going to choke on his own puke -_

The loud clang of his crownsguard breaking down his door was the only signal his body needed to start vomiting up whatever’s left in his stomach. Warms hand flipped him over - when was he on his stomach? - and then there was the concerned stare of the Crownsguard looking down at him.

“You’re gonna be okay,” the Crownsguard promised him in a low voice, before turning to talk into the transmitter on his shoulder. “The Prince needs medical attention, repeat this is a code purple, symptoms include erratic heart rate, tremors, elevated pulse, and vomiting - shit he’s seizing- !”

Noctis didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but when he woke up again he was looking up at his dad’s worried face, just the same as it was years ago except for a few more grey hairs and stress lines.

He gagged on the tube in his throat, and his dad was quickly pushed aside for white coats to rush in and help pull it out, which was an awful experience and nothing he ever wants to feel again.

A light was shined in his eyes, doctors asking him questions that went on forever - how was he feeling, had he been feeling upset for a while, did he take so many pills knowing what would happen -

When Noctis was ten, one of the Kingsglaive had killed themselves after a public mental breakdown, the war having worn away the last bits of their sanity. It was all over the news, and the Citadel was awkwardly quiet for weeks.

“No,” He rapsed out finally. “I just wanted my knee to stop hurting.”

The doctor nodded as if she thought that was the truth the entire time, patting his shoulder gently. “Well, your highness, you’re likely to be in the medical wing for at least another week while the drugs make their way out of your system, and then we have to sign you up for more mandatory therapy, accident or not.”

Noctis nodded, pushing aside the thoughts of even more therapy added to the bi-weekly visits he already had from after Tenebrae.

After a couple more questions, the doctor finally left the room, leaving just Noctis and his dad. Alone.

Awkward couldn’t even begin to cover it.

Finally, his dad spoke. “These,” his dad shook the pill bottle, and he failed to hide his wince. “Are getting locked in my room from now on.”

Noctis winced at that. “Fair enough.”

“You will be meeting with your therapist four times a week from now on, and a constant guard watch will be placed on you for the next week. And -“ His dad reached for hand, nearly avoiding all the wires and tubes to hold his fingers tightly. “ _Talk_ to me. Talk to Ignis. Don’t ever try to handle something like this by yourself again.”

Noctis blinked wet eyes. “Dad, it was an accident, I promise.”

“I know.” His dad cleared his throat, and for the first time Noctis could see the tremble in his lips. “But it was an accident that could have killed you.”

 

 

16.

“Your Highness - “

“Nope, nada, not happening.”

Ignis made a frustrated sound from somewhere behind him as they entered their apartment, Noctis firmly ignoring the stare that followed his dragging leg.

“I just pushed myself a little hard with training with Gladio today, if it makes you feel better I’ll spend the rest of the night on the couch.” Noctis finally off handly remarked when the ever present disappointment radiating from the kitchen became a little too much to bare, even after developing a tolerance to it after the many years of their friendship.

True enough, Ignis entered the room with a vaguely satisfied look on his face. “And wear the knee brace.”

Instantly, Noctis made a face. “Ew, no, what?” He sat up a bit, only slumping back down when Iggy’s glare intensified by the twentieth power. “Specs, come on, it’s just a little ache from gym class today and Gladio’s bootcamp training.” It was most certainly not a ‘little ache’, but he thought that telling his soon to be advisor that he felt like biting through his lip would be less pain than his knee right now would just be a one way trip to the medical wing.

Nope. He wanted his couch, maybe some good food and drinks - without veggies thank you kindly -, and maybe rewatch a favorite show or two. He was a simple man with simple needs, really.

“Fine,” Ignis nodded after a long moment, walking away to dump the brace back in the depths of hell where it belongs. “But you better stay on the couch, Your Highness.”

Noctis waved him off with a laugh, looking forward to just crashing on the couch for the night and maybe badgering Ignis enough to let them order pizza.

When he woke up the next morning, that’s when he really started regretting everything. Ignis must have left when he fell asleep, because he was alone in the house surrounded by silence and empty pizza boxes.

He tried to move, and instantly gave up on that when pure agony sliced him all the way to the bone, paralyzing every muscle in his body until his brain started screaming _to breathe you idiot_!

_One shallow breath. Take another, you’re okay Your Highness, just breathe._

His hand inched towards his phone before he came back to senses, quickly snatching it back and cradling his fingers like they betrayed him. His therapist constantly told him he could call her whenever he need it, but he didn’t need it, not like some people did. He just had a moment of weakness there, his walls lowered by the overwhelming amounts of pain.

For a long moment, he considered calling Ignis to come down with his pills, but he didn’t want to bother Iggy over pain that wasn’t really that bad once he got used to it again. It was just the waking up that was hard.

A quiet chime from his phone disturbed him from the quiet doze he had accidentally slipped into, the special ringtone he had set for his father making him wake up faster than any alarm could.

_Would you like to perhaps catch a lunch together? I haven’t seen you in a while and I have a clear spot in my schedule._

Noctis couldn’t help the grin playing around his mouth. _Sure thing, be there ASAP_

Another chime. _What does ASAP mean?_

_It means ‘as soon as possible’ dad, get with the times geez_

_I’ll just have to tell Clarus not to give you your birthday present this year_

_Please don’t!! He promised to take me to the Lestallum festival along with Iris, and maybe Gladio if the stick up his ass would leave anytime soon for him to realize how amazing Assassin's creed is_

_Language, Noct_

_:stuck_out_tongue:_

Noctis chuckled to himself, carefully sliding his phone back into his pocket. If he could catch a bus within the next ten minutes, then he could go the Citadel and actually get changed and brush his hair there without having to wait for the 1:00 bus.

If his stupid knee would stop locking up.

Deeming it a loss cause, he leaned over the aching limb and wrapped his hands around the joint, forcibly moving it to the floor and taking care not to actually bend it, having learned that lesson the hard way the first time.

Careful, slow and steady steps. To his front door was probably ten steps, and there was a nice alcove he could rest there for a moment. After that was probably another 25-30 steps until the stairs, because elevators made him a bit queasy.

Or so he thought. Making it out of his apartment was easier to do, probably helped by the multiple breaks he took just to get the weight off his bad knee. But then he started climbing down the stairs, and everything wobbled dangerously for a long moment.

Without of thinking about it, he moved to balance on his right leg, and the whole world toppled onto its side as his knee gave right out under him.

A pitched scream ripped out of him wildly as he rolled down the stairs, a loud ‘oof’ being released involuntarily as he finally hit the landing, rolling a good couple of times before his back hit the wall.

For a long moment, he just stayed there, sprawled on the stair landing with several bruises forming, probably a sprained wrist and the taste of blood in his mouth.

Then he started to laugh. Wow, he really had the worst luck didn't hee?

His phone chimed again, another message from his dad sliding through. Hysterically, he thought it was hilarious how he could break several bones in his body, but there wasn’t even a crack on the screen. Lucian quality phones, right?

Dialing, he raised the phone to his ear. “Hey dad, I’m kinda stuck. Where you ask? Oh you know, kinda collapsed down the stairs and am currently just chilling here. I think there’s blood in my mouth? Oh, cool. I’ll be here.”

Soon enough, his father was standing over his collapsed self with another frown, but there was definitely something amused in his expression.

“We have got to stop meeting like this.” Was the first thing out of his dad’s mouth, and Noctis couldn’t agree more, raising a weak thumbs up just for him to see how much he agreed.

“Med wing?”

“Med wing.”

“Dammit.”

 

20.

His knee hurt _so_ fucking bad.

Realistically, all the running around and killing monsters and trying not to die thing with the empire on their ass, that had to be doing shit to already bad knee. He knew this, but he didn’t know just how much it could hurt, _dammit_.

And to make matters worse, he was running out of pain pills.

Ignis was trying his best to get him more, even willing to pay extravagant amounts of money rather than let Noctis deal with it.

“I will not have you struggling to sleep every night because you are in pain.” Iggy’s glasses flashed menacingly. “If a bit of money and some medication can help, I’ll do whatever I can to procure them.”

That was two days ago, and Noctis knew. He couldn’t get out of bed.

Not mentally, not even his depression that had worsened over the last couple of weeks (gee, wonder why). He couldn’t physically. His leg was locked up.

His face burned with shame, even more so as Ignis approached him with a concerned expression, “Are you alright, Your Highness?”

“Noct,” He corrected absently, making a hand flap next to his year. The walls have ears. “I’m just….”

He thought about lying, about forcing himself to continue on despite the white flares of pain washing down his back. But then: his father’s shadow, so gentle and kind, always pushing Noctis to talk, to trust in his friends.

“Actually, I….” Noctis wavered for another moment, and then continued in a whisper. “My knee gave out.”

Ignis didn’t even look perturbed. “It had to happen eventually, good thing it happened while we out in town and not halfway in the middle of a dungeon.”

Hence, the brace around his knee. Gladio didn’t even seem to blink at the cast, instead offering a small smile and a much gentler pat on the shoulder before leaving to find Ignis.

Prompto didn’t say anything either, but his eyeballs did bulgen at the sights of golden metal wrapped intreictly around his joint.

They were almost softer in a way during that break, never pitying him outright but still keeping the banter back and forth. Gladio left him several of his juice packs, alongside with some of his more easier to follow romance novels. Prompt dumped him with flowers he bought at the store and photographs, both of them retreating to happier memories and drowning in the bright glow of laughter. And of course Iggy, who was always there with a guiding hand and warm blankets whenever he so much as winced.

And maybe - that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I know the last part is short but,,, I'm so tired, and I do like it
> 
> Also imagine Regis' panic at his son's flippant behavior who's just chilling at the end of the stairs, slightly concussed and a pro at giving Regis heart attacks. 
> 
> 90% of those grey hairs are from Noctis


End file.
